How to manage your emotions in a ceremony!
Exploring ways to manage emotions during your ceremony - whatever your role!
Your wedding, vow renewal or naming ceremony is bound to be a very emotional time, as you are in a rite of passage, a transitional moment. You do need to think about whether you are happy to show your emotions publicly or not. Sometimes your considerations might be a simple as not wanting your make-up to run! Personally, I love a bit of a teary ceremony, and I haven't done one yet where either the bride or groom doesn't cry - but it isn't for everyone so read on to pick up a few tips on how you can manage the emotions.
The emotions you feel are likely to be complex. Mixed expectations, excitement, anticipation, often brought on because suddenly all of your planning has come to fruition. Be warned: this rush of emotions might take you by surprise - you might find yourself giggling uncontrollably or weeping hysterically - whether you are the best man, the bride, the parents. So how can you be prepared? Here are a few tips:
If you are speaking or taking part in any of the rituals, make sure you rehearse prior to the day. Listen to the music that will be played - it is such an emotional trigger and could easily tip you into laughter or tears, so it is always good to be prepared for any eventualities. If you are getting married practice saying your vows whilst looking in a mirror - this will not only help you with your emotions but will help you to be calmer on the day as well and reduce the nerves.
Make sure that there are plenty of tissues available - a good celebrant will always have their goody bag that will definitely have tissues in, for exactly this purpose!
Use the art of the 'pause'. If you can feel yourself welling up but are due to speak, just wait and pause until you are ready. It might feel like a long time to you, but in reality it isn't'.
If you hear sobbing, try to avoid looking at the people who are crying, as they are very likely to set you off. Just imagine your mum sitting in the front row at your wedding, with tears rolling down her face - if you look at her, you will, no doubt, start crying as well!
Take deep breaths, be mindful and speak slowly.
If something genuinely funny happens such as the wrong words are said by accident, or a child suddenly launches into a karate routine during the ceremony (bizarre, but yes it's happened) or your Doggie ring bearer stops to relieve himself whilst delivering the rings, then LAUGH! It will break the tension, and allow everyone else in the room to have a laugh as well. Then you can carry on - laughing also helps to dispel nerves.
Smile! It is harder to cry if you are smiling!
Relax and try and go with the flow of the ceremony - everyone there loves and supports you and if you do cry, they will probably cry with you and have empathy with your emotions
So whether you are cool as a cucumber or someone who wears their emotions publicly, just make sure that you think carefully, before the ceremony, about what your emotions could be like. Then on the day you can relax and enjoy the day.
